tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post8512147148247862896..comments2024-03-27T04:47:13.835-04:00Comments on Lakeitha Duncan {A Lifestyle Blog}: GETTING PERSONAL…YET AGAINL.Duncan@Home23DuncanBoyshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17226427401291758923noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-85903236515013252952013-02-22T03:33:27.858-05:002013-02-22T03:33:27.858-05:00Hello, I am new to this blog but I am a mother who...Hello, I am new to this blog but I am a mother whose child also had behavior problems in school and who was picked on and who was tested and found wanting in the fundamentals that he NEVER could seem to retain. He ended up with poor self esteem and graduated eventually and went to work, yet he always felt dumb. I had tried to teach him some things while he was growing up at home but the truth is, that I also struggled academically, and the stuff that he was trying to learn was a complete mystery to me! My son was eventually privately tutored which got him through high school but as I say he still felt stupid. After 7 years he decided to return to college and see if he could do it and he not only did it, but he excelled! He became the star pupil of his 2 years of school and that has only made him hungry for more. So don't despair! Some times it just takes a little longer than it does for others but you are not alone. Albert Einstien was terrible in school, and yet he was a genius! I don't know if you have considered the possibility of dyslexia? Some of the things you have described are similar to what is outlined in the dyslexia test that is on line and you may want to look into it. In any case, I feel all your anxiety and concern and as a mother you want the best for your child and the distress is sometimes just too much! You have many people praying for you and your son and I will add mine too. God bless you and have faith things will work out, they always do.<br /><br />elizabethelizabeth shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09042037455600427075noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-82268444862934945872012-04-29T04:09:29.684-04:002012-04-29T04:09:29.684-04:00I pray that you will make the decision that is bes...I pray that you will make the decision that is best for you and your son. My 8 year old is in second grade. He has had behavioral problems for the past two years. He is very smart and personable. However, he has a temper. He gets angry when he doesn't get his way. At least twice a week, I get a bad report. It is frustrating. As someone mentioned earlier, there is always an underlying reason for their misbehavior. His teachers suggested that he join an anger management group at school. So, twice a week he meets with the guidance counselor. It seems to be helping. I also spend more time with him. Your son may want more one on one time with you and your husband. You'll make the right choice for your family.803momof2boyzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14281928781002684586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-3919833927068351592012-04-23T02:56:48.727-04:002012-04-23T02:56:48.727-04:00You have had some fabulous advice. I too am a teac...You have had some fabulous advice. I too am a teacher, albeit not for as long as some others, but I know that mis behaviour is simply that - mis -behaviour - there is always an underlying reason. And first and foremost I am a mother. I have always put my children first. I was ready to pull my son out of 7th grade and homeschool him because I felt his school was letting him down. I have to admit, I had the same thoughts as you, my "free' time would of been gone. I did give him extra work at home, over the summer and now he is in high school doing well!<br /><br /> You are your child's only advocate, fight for him and fight until you get answers. Sometimes the system doesn't always work - but you are the only one who knows your child. And firstly follow your heart, only you know what's best.Barbara Matsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01687912436864826801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-83777062117592812372012-04-19T10:09:32.381-04:002012-04-19T10:09:32.381-04:00Hi Lakeitha,
My heart goes out to you!!
There i...Hi Lakeitha,<br /><br />My heart goes out to you!! <br /><br />There is a plethora of information available to you via internet to help you make your decision. Sometimes a plethora is too much. I have taught elementary school for 17 years and I hope you don't mind my two cents. <br /><br />Here are some things I want you to think about or find out:<br /><br />When does your son breakdown (before lunch, after lunch, during specials)? You are looking to see if there is a pattern. We had a student who would breakdown after lunch. He was allergic to milk.<br /><br />How does he handle specials, P.E., Art, Music? Is he focused and able to follow directions?<br /><br />What are his strengths during the day? The reports you get should include his positives. <br /><br />Has his teacher put any visual behavior modifications in place (check off list, charts)? <br /><br />You may have already checked, but how are his vision and hearing? I have a cousin who is a retired special education teacher. One day while working with one of her students she realized he was hearing impaired. He received a hearing device and his learning skyrocketed.<br /><br />Is your son a young first grader or an old first grader? One of my friends delivered her child in December and I delivered in January. The difference in their ages is 4 weeks. Her child started school one year before my child. Her child had some adjustment issues in K and 1st grade, my child did not. <br /><br />Please meet with the principal, classroom teacher, guidance counselor or school psychologist and state that you want to have a positive working relationship with all and you want the best possible education for your son. Explore your possibilities for next year. Maybe you can do half days. He can spend the mornings in school to develop and strengthen his social skills and spend the afternoons learning one-to-one with you. <br /><br />Don't be afraid to ask "who would be the best teacher for my child next year?" You won't get a name but you will get a list of character traits that will describe the best teacher for his needs. <br /><br />If all three boys are in school this will give you the opportunity to volunteer in school. <br /><br />I hope this is helpful to you.<br /><br />One more thing...put a target word on a sticky note and place that sticky note on the bathroom door. Whenever he goes into the bathroom he has to read that word. This helped my daughter. She had a few words that she had difficulty remembering how to spell. So we had a word on the refrigerator, front door, bedroom door, and bathroom door. At any given time we would hear "because, b-e-c-a-u-s-e, because" or "would, w-o-u-l-d, would". Don't overload him. Start with a few words. <br /><br />Most importantly - ENJOY being with your son.<br /><br />Geneal<br />genealdarden@hotmail.comGenealhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05901479454282747837noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-10215847842970614582012-04-19T02:03:44.877-04:002012-04-19T02:03:44.877-04:00Sorry for your pain as an educational specialist i...Sorry for your pain as an educational specialist in the field of special education. I encourage you to breathe, take deep breaths throughout the day and just know that it will get better. It may take time but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I encourage you to read Special Needs Advocacy and resource book by Rich Weinfeld Michelle Davis. The book has a plethora of information about the special education process and your rights as a parent with a special needs students.<br /><br />I will say I am very disappointed to read that the teacher and the school hasnt. thought of coping skills that your son can use. isolating your son is not answer it would only make matters worse children are very astute and they recognize when they are not liked.<br /><br />If you need more info please feel free to contact me at ladyablogs@gmail.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-47822805555351097432012-04-19T02:03:39.540-04:002012-04-19T02:03:39.540-04:00Sorry for your pain as an educational specialist i...Sorry for your pain as an educational specialist in the field of special education. I encourage you to breathe, take deep breaths throughout the day and just know that it will get better. It may take time but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I encourage you to read Special Needs Advocacy and resource book by Rich Weinfeld Michelle Davis. The book has a plethora of information about the special education process and your rights as a parent with a special needs students.<br /><br />I will say I am very disappointed to read that the teacher and the school hasnt. thought of coping skills that your son can use. isolating your son is not answer it would only make matters worse children are very astute and they recognize when they are not liked.<br /><br />If you need more info please feel free to contact me at ladyablogs@gmail.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-34352446273513087472012-04-19T02:01:46.746-04:002012-04-19T02:01:46.746-04:00Sorry for your pain as an educational specialist i...Sorry for your pain as an educational specialist in the field of special education. I encourage you to breathe, take deep breaths throughout the day and just know that it will get better. It may take time but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I encourage you to read Special Needs Advocacy and resource book by Rich Weinfeld Michelle Davis. The book has a plethora of information about the special education process and your rights as a parent with a special needs students.<br /><br />I will say I am very disappointed to read that the teacher and the school hasnt. thought of coping skills that your son can use. isolating your son is not answer it would only make matters worse children are very astute and they recognize when they are not liked.<br /><br />If you need more info please feel free to contact me at ladyablogs@gmail.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-30710494344161617302012-04-18T14:50:32.238-04:002012-04-18T14:50:32.238-04:00I was homeschooled from 6th to graduation. I hones...I was homeschooled from 6th to graduation. I honestly think it was the best thing my parents could have done for me. We had some stressful situations going on in our home life, which had me down. You can't hide what's going on from kids, they see a lot more than you think. I was picked on, I started to cry a lot too. <br />In the end, all you can do is what you think is best for you and your kids. I don't know if you could homeschool him and then send him to an extracurricular activity he enjoys every day just to give you SOME time. Also, usually there is a homeschool support group, and moms get together to help spare each other from time to time - taking small groups of kids on field trips and such. <br /><br />It's such a haaaaard situation, I'm sure your heart is so very heavy in trying to make this decision. I'm happy to answer questions from a "I survived being homeschooled" perspective!<br /><br />(((hugs)))crisangsteninteriors.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13311945791412778536noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-54532471324351856132012-04-18T14:01:52.831-04:002012-04-18T14:01:52.831-04:00My son had very similar problems. I struggled wit...My son had very similar problems. I struggled with him for amost 6 years. After yet another evaul and recommending 3k in testing I decided to do something I had thought about for a year. <br /><br />I changed his diet to 100% gluten free.<br /><br />No lie, the ADD, anxiety, tantrums, crying, overly sensitive boy, within weeks was basically none of those things.<br /><br />I could go on and on, but I won't bore you unless you want more info. My son is living proof that gluten sensitivies (and against was the ped thought I should do) worked and I now ENJOY spending time with my son.Mrs Fab-ulous!https://www.blogger.com/profile/11390337713617263589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-59181505645501788162012-04-18T10:54:44.520-04:002012-04-18T10:54:44.520-04:00You'll know what to do...just trust yourself. ...You'll know what to do...just trust yourself. JanellJanell @ House of Fiftyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01098486064588035649noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-86159465660775256652012-04-18T07:23:26.267-04:002012-04-18T07:23:26.267-04:00why is parenting so hard and where's the darn ...why is parenting so hard and where's the darn manual? I'll take one, please! ;)<br /><br />just my two cents but what if you start homeschooling this summer? it'll give you a good idea on if it's something you can do for an entire year and if not, it will give you son a bit of a head start on starting a new school year. who knows, maybe the extra bit of summer attention and learning will give your son a lil boost of confidence to start the year. just my thought.<br /><br />both your options sound great and whichever one you choose will be the perfect one... you'll see. :)Laura Ferry-Jimenezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16945515251052177853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-51879564584948382062012-04-17T13:12:55.002-04:002012-04-17T13:12:55.002-04:00Big Hug! I know you msut have so much on your mind...Big Hug! I know you msut have so much on your mind, I've been in your shoes before with my now tween. He has having hard time in Kindergarten and 1st grade. He was having a hard time expressing himself with his words. I learned and teachers need to learn all kids learn differently: some are hands on, visual some readers and great listeners. Tabari grew out of this trying time (he's now mostly A's & B's and his teachers all saying how respectful and helpful and what a pleasure he is in the classroom!)<br /><br />It took a lot of one on one time to help my baby be his personal best & a lot of talking with teachers and setting up plan so he could do his personal best.<br /><br />With that said, I think in your heart you know what's best for your son, you have to do what's in your heart that you know its BEST for him regardless of what others think. I'm sure time he will excel! And do his personal best, and it sounds like he already wants too. If you decided to keep him in school and your baby starts Pre-K maybe a good option would be to volunteer in TJ's classroom 1-2 days per week, with you there I think he'll feel supported...<br /><br />Whew I wrote you a book! If you need anything feel free to email & and I go go into detail what helped my son :) get though that challenging age.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11784825966340743698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-50384320111432193682012-04-17T10:56:45.583-04:002012-04-17T10:56:45.583-04:00First of all, hugs to you I know this is tough bec...First of all, hugs to you I know this is tough because I have been in your shoes. My son was struggling and unhappy at school and it broke my heart to know he needed my help but I didn't know how. I know now what he needs for the most part (he has Asperger's syndrome) but it wasn't easy. I demanded answers from school officials and his doctors all the while doing my own research until I got the attention my son deserved.<br /><br />My advice to you is to not be so hard on yourself. Weigh your options. You can try to homeschool to see how it goes and/or look at other schools that are more understanding of your situation while you get answers. You do not want him in a setting where he is being made to feel less than worthy.MichelleBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09054539007469891189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-9724621645137432482012-04-17T10:21:35.447-04:002012-04-17T10:21:35.447-04:00You received a lot of great advice, Lakeitha. Than...You received a lot of great advice, Lakeitha. Thankfully, you have a wonderful circle of women that truly care for you. Your children are fortunate to have a mother who loves them as much as you do. I wish you the best in your decision making.Brandihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01049383432715304456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-25189413062441581312012-04-17T10:00:19.214-04:002012-04-17T10:00:19.214-04:00If you had asked me 4 years ago whether I would ev...If you had asked me 4 years ago whether I would ever homeschool, I'd have said, "NEVER."<br /><br />I'm now I'm closing out my third year of homeschooling two kids.<br /><br />It's a sacrifice. There are days when I envy the moms who send their kids off to school and have the entire day to get stuff done. It's not without its stresses and anxieties. But what you need to keep in mind is "NET POSITIVE." One of the reasons I decided to pull my son out of school and homeschool was because his personality had changed. He didn't have the same issues as your son, but he went from a sweet boy to a crabby, surly, always-tired, frustrated kid who argued constantly with his little brother. My time with him was spent nagging him, correcting his behavior, etc. I'm pretty stubborn and I wouldn't accept that just because he was of school-age, I had to start spending my time with him undoing the behaviors he was learning at school (or which were exacerbated by school). My relationship with him wasn't going to suffer - he was only 7!<br /><br />If it's on your heart to try homeschooling him, I say give it shot. What do you have to lose? Give it a semester. A year. Don't pressure yourself. Focus on teaching him, giving him a breather and help him to mature emotionally without the daily pressures of needing to BE so emotionally mature with the stress of teasing classmates. <br /><br />God can't do great things with us if we're not willing to step out in faith and put ourselves out there. I also think it's on your heart for a reason. At this point, the status quo isn't working and you have nothing to lose.Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14777317144658406320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-20338333760406418572012-04-17T09:28:36.874-04:002012-04-17T09:28:36.874-04:00Lakeitha, I can relate to your excitement of the p...Lakeitha, I can relate to your excitement of the possibility of having all of the kiddos in school and the prospect of some much-needed "mommy" time. My 5 yo is finishing up her GA pre-k program and heading to K in the fall. My 3yo, has a late b-day so I've got one more year with him at home. But like you, I'm looking forward to that day when they're both in school. However, as much as I'm looking forward to it, I will say that if I felt the need to homeschool any one of my kids I would do it - AFTER much praying and probably many tears. lol I did some preschool homeschooling with my daughter and off and on now with my son, and I can tell you that there are soooo many resources online. I've found homeschooling mommies to be very helpful, creative and resourceful. Don't be afraid to ask questions! GA has a big homeschool expo every summer, so you may want to check into that. Also, there are a few online homeschool programs that are a part of the GA public school system, so you may want to check into those.La Monicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09649169422462139557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-60891749752053276752012-04-17T07:43:36.471-04:002012-04-17T07:43:36.471-04:00You have the voice of so many concerned mothers be...You have the voice of so many concerned mothers behind you, around you - supporting and encouraging you and your beautiful boys.Angiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12507619177636343716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-51486548881389543292012-04-16T22:43:55.904-04:002012-04-16T22:43:55.904-04:00Praying for you as you make these tough decisions....Praying for you as you make these tough decisions. Being a mom is so hard. You're doing a great job. Your boys are so lucky to have you!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03765912501756304480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-67158779410310409432012-04-16T21:17:25.781-04:002012-04-16T21:17:25.781-04:00I recently purchased a book and home study program...I recently purchased a book and home study program on preparing the next generation for success. According to it most of the time some of the issues you discussed above stem from people's inability to deal with different personality types in a way that is effective to everyone. I'd be willing to send it to you, just le me know. Praying for you and your little ones. I only have one and she is two so I know that you have your hands full with three:)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17657213423897010519noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-40793308921596461782012-04-16T20:32:23.404-04:002012-04-16T20:32:23.404-04:00Bless your heart! I too have a son that struggles ...Bless your heart! I too have a son that struggles in school. I know what it feels like to not know how to help your baby. Not a day goes by that I don't worry about him.<br /><br />I know my son's time to shine is not as a student but I also know he has so many beautiful gifts and will do great things in this life. <br /><br />I do not have any answers, just follow your heart, celebrate his strengths and know you are not alone. You are in my thoughts. ~ShelbyShelby@ My Perfectly Imperfect Worldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00759823196173967552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-19135908380711696762012-04-16T20:17:04.741-04:002012-04-16T20:17:04.741-04:00Oh Lakeitha, I'm so sorry for your little boy...Oh Lakeitha, I'm so sorry for your little boy. I don't know what the right decision is, but I'm confident you will make the right one. Praying for you and your family.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09791892774462735755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-76949943178573125432012-04-16T19:46:41.335-04:002012-04-16T19:46:41.335-04:00Prayers for your decision. Ive home schooled for 6...Prayers for your decision. Ive home schooled for 6yrs...3kids home almost daily ( when not in tennis, art, or dance) and I always feel like pulling out my hair but it's beautiful...and I would not trade it..<br />I personally feel I must protect my babies for many things that could impact -stunt their growth and being the unquie people God created them to be. <br />We know our kids better than anyone.. We know how to ensure they over challenges such as stuttering (my 11yr old had a slight stutter and was on her way to being embarrassed by it- I can tell you another day how we over came this) <br />But, not to preach to the choir... If we do what God called us to do, they will grow up to be awesome people! <br />If you do home school, but unsure how or don't really want to leave public school support, try www.k12.com you can also get free speech therapy in a private setting :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5353166892329944748.post-48231474465799628542012-04-16T19:41:48.185-04:002012-04-16T19:41:48.185-04:00Praying that God will give you the wisdom to make ...Praying that God will give you the wisdom to make the best decision. You're a good mom, Lakeitha!Emily A. Clarkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17831600455593731223noreply@blogger.com