(REPOST FROM AUG. 17, 2011) Mind or Food?

Happy Monday!  So I found this old post from exactly 4 years ago when I partnered with Jenny Craig for a 6 week program.  Reading my thoughts during this time was very interesting and I figured I would share them again because I think many of you can relate AND because I thought it would be a way for you to see how far I've changed mentally as it relates to my struggle with weight.  I italicized one section in particular for you that stood out the most for me.  I hope this motivates you to keep going and to even document your journey (even if its just for yourself.)

 

 

 

Hi all! I recently started the Jenny Craig weight loss program through a Blogher program that I signed up for.  I started on Sunday to be exact.  Let me start this post by giving you a information about myself

 

 

(my breakfast the other morning)

On Saturday when I went to the center to get started, I weighed in at 278lbs (GASP)

I’m 5’5 and 278lbs… That would put me in the obese category, right? Right.

(in Lane Bryant trying on a size 20 dress)

Now, let me say, I’ve never been thin.  In high school I was around 165 and 170, which was perfect for me.  By the time I was 21, I was around 200lbs.   After giving birth to my first son, I weighed in at 225, but I lost those 25lbs plus 2lbs so I was 198.

(on the way to my prom wearing a size large dress from the junior department)

Moving on to present day, I have 3 children a husband, a house, and a life that I’m trying to get back in order.  My first day on the program (Sunday) proved to be a challenge.  I’ve always known that I was an emotional eater.  But Sunday showed me that it’s worse than I thought.  Every time I am frustrated, overwhelmed, upset, irritated, rushed, sad, depressed, even happy, I want to put something in my mouth (ughhh, I hope that didn’t come across nasty!).  Here’s the thing, I AM NOT HUNGRY when I want to eat the food.  What does that mean???

 

***I’m realizing that in order to get a handle on my weight, I need to first get a handle on my life.  It’s not the food for me.  I don’t eat chocolate, I don’t drink alcohol (minus the three drinks I had during blogfest, YUM!), I don’t like pastries or sweets for that matter.  I’m not gonna sit here and say that I eat the healthiest foods out there, but I don’t eat the unhealthiest food either.  Even my portions aren’t large.  On the two trips I took to NYC, I realized that I ate better and not as much.  I didn’t feel the need to snack on anything.  Why is that?  Was it because I actually had time for me?  Was it because I had a few restful nights sleep?  Was it because I had more adult conversation?  Was it because I felt more like my old self?  Or maybe it was because I was constantly on the go.  I’m thinking all of those played a factor in why I didn’t over indulge myself when it came to eating. What I’m trying to do is figure out how to make myself feel and eat like that here at home.  Maybe my life is not balanced? Do I need a schedule perhaps? hmmm…

It’s now Wednesday and I must say that I have come to terms with the food I’m eating for the program.***

 

(Dinner last night)

 

  The food itself isn't bad (I was worried about that!).  It’s hard not tasting the food that I prepare for my family, but I don’t. 

 

 

 

I’m only doing this program for about 6 weeks.  I do hope to lose some weight, but not much. I am happy that I realized how bad my emotional eating is.  Hopefully by the time these few weeks are up, I’ll have more control of that.

How many of you ever struggled with weight? How are you dealing with it?  What have you learned about yourself when it comes to why your eating habits are what they are?