6.03.2010

THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS

I have a confession to make. First I want to ask you if you’ve ever heard the saying that your home or things in your life says a lot about you? Do you believe that to be true? I do. And lately my life have been turned upside down. Usually. I’m a fun bubbly person, that laughs a lot. But, lately I’ve ‘seen’ myself in another light. Lately I feel hurried, tired, overwhelmed, and drained. I feel a little out of touch. I would love to be able to pin point the exact cause, but there are many. A few includes people, my home, and blogging.

I’m a people pleaser. I’ve been like that for a while now. What I’ve realized from being a “pleaser” is that there are only certain people that need to be pleased. Since that revelation, I’ve let quite a few people go. That a lone has given me a sense of relief.

My home has become somewhat neglected. I do the bare minimum these days. Laundry, dishes, and cleaning bathrooms just to name a few. But, other things that I use to be on top of like organizing, decluttering, and so on seem to be the last on my mind.

Lastly, blogging has really taken its toll. I started this blog to have a way to release my thoughts that other people around me didn't want to hear. I never thought that I would actually meet people and build relationships. I can honestly say that starting a blog has been one of the greatest things I’ve done lately. What I didn’t realize is how consumed it can be. Nor did I realize how competitive and greedy one can get without realizing it. I never thought that I would get comments (honestly). I never thought about followers. I never thought about sponsors, advertisements, giveaways, and so forth. But, then I was bitten. I received comments from people other than family and then I wanted more. That started my crave. So I thought of any and everything I could do to get followers and comments. Right now at this very moment, I know that for me that is not why I blog. Yes I love hearing what you guys have to say, but I also love that I have said something. By taking this pressure off of me, I feel free. Free to get back to blogging my best.

I thought by taking a week off last week, I would somehow return to normal. Yeah, that didn’t happen. But, by sharing my feelings with you is a major step. Because you are reading, I feel the need to be truthful.

If your home, or things in your life represents where you are mentally, then this photo says it all about me right now

blog 001

Bare with me guys. I AM on the road to recovery! Can any of you relate? Please, somebody, anybody, say yes!

22 comments:

niki.mac said...

Oh man can I relate! People that don't blog don't have a clue about how much work goes into it. I completely understand how it can sort of take over your life - but I think it's in a good way. :)

Don't feel bad!

xoxo
Niki

Tonia @Chic Modern Vintage said...

Young lady, That is so well said. You can run yourself into a rag, trying to please each and every person. You must take time for yourself first, because if you don't then how can you take care of someone else? By the way, that office is cute as pie.

ERIKA said...

you can get an amen from me. looks like you had a much needed dose of "truth serum." now that you've laid it all out there, what you've written can serve as a road map in getting you back to where you need to be.

it's called burnout, baby! you serve in so many roles and i think you need a bit of a vacation from doing what isn't absolutely necessary even if it includes blogging.

here for you whenever you need a shoulder...

Mrs. Chic said...

YES! lol, I get in funks sometimes too - our house gets messy - stuff around me is getting on my nerves, I could go on and on....

Remember you have to put you first (and please yourself) that will make you feel better and get out of this rut and help you get back to the fun person you are!

Remember why you love blogging and stay ture to who you are...thats why I read

Sing said...

I enjoy your blog. You amongst many others are the reason I started a blog of my own. I could feel that you needed a place to put something that is all your own and I respect it.

Yes this is a creative diary open to the public, but this just reminds me to do it for the sheer joy of sharing creative things, even if no one or everyone reads it.

Keep your head up and keep it moving.

Will @ Bright.Bazaar said...

I hear you! I often feel stressed and over-whelmed. I feel in ruts, especially creatively, sometimes and feels like I will never come out of them. But, fingers crossed, with rest and time away from the old computer, I find my jazz again. Have a weekend for YOU and I hope you will feel back on form soon. Will

Lynn said...

I think there are those times when all of us, at one time or another, find ourselves feeling the way you mentioned about in your blog. I know I have.. We all have our up and down days, so to speak. We can only try to do our best on any given day. There are those days and times when we feel like doing things, and really seem to accomplish alot of things, and then there are those days and times when we feel like doing nothing.. which is ok in my book..as it all will be there tomorrow or the next day waiting on us to tackle..

Take care now...

Blessings,
~Lynn

Tamstyles said...

i cant relate in terms of being a people pleaser. i have always been pretty direct. not saying you should..but when its on you..SAY IT..and its done with. That way you dont feel the pressure of your internal thoughts. I have had the feeling of being overwhelmed OFTEN. I am a woman, mother, wife, worker, all that...plus blogger. I feel like crying sometimes. And when I do, I cry..and try to move on. The funny thing is...I dont cry to friends. I cry to my husband or to myself. I have learned to be ok with just me. I dont know if thats even good or bad. But I have learned that people let you down. And the easiest way to prevent the heart break of being let down by people is to be careful what info they get..I have went on far to much. I think i may need a vent myself. I think you can over come all these feeling. Figure it out first!

Janell @ Isabella and Max said...

Good for you, for speaking your thoughts and feelings! I hope your blog can continue to provide the outlet it was originally intended to give you. Sometimes it is so hard not to feel competition, but the lack of this is one of the many things I love about the blogs that I follow, I truly sense a generosity that is sometimes missing in many other venues. Try to remember the truth that there is enough to go around for everyone and that the good people you chose to have in your life want the best for you, with no strings attached.

Rachel @ La Bella Bungalow said...

Yes! I'm raising my hand! Yes! I feel it too. I absolutely LOVE blogging and what blogging has brought me. Great friends and likeminded conncections, but it has also brought along a tremendous amount of stress.

I think we fall into the trap because for a lot of us blogging is that outlet that leads us out of sometimes humdrum lives.

Just know that you are NOT alone in your feelings. Hope that helps!

~Rachel~

Kim@Chattafabulous said...

You know, I am a fairly new blogger and I have to admit that taking this on has been way more time and effort than I imagined. And there are days when I have no clue what to post about! Maybe the best solution is to write when you are inspired about what inspires you ... on your schedule! Best wishes to you!

MzMannerz said...

For however many years I have been blogging, I have resisted or just plain forgotten to do the things that generally gain followers and comments. I rarely tag, I greedily consume other people's blogs without commenting (yours is one of a handful or so I regularly comment on) and I still feel overwhelmed by my blogs sometimes. Friends will ask about it when I go too far in between posts, and sometimes... I just don't feel like it. Other times it's a HUGE release, especially because I'm a writer ('nother story).

So yes, I understand. Sometimes getting through my list of blogs to READ is so time consuming. Definitely don't feel bad if you have to skip blogging from time. Take care of yourself first! I am sure I speak for a lot of people when I say I'll be around to read whenever you're ready to post. I put you in my feed thingie. :)

Kasey at Thrifty Little Blog said...

I've read so many posts about this same thing lately! Don't worry about blogging!! Try to limit your blogging time to a certain amount per day. Maybe you'll only write half a post then finish it the next day. Do what works for you; your readers will love and enjoy whatever you're able to come up with.

Mom of 2 Cuties @ Sprinkles of Joy and Laughter said...

Breathe!! It's life..you seem to be a great mom, wife, sister and friend and a generous one at that..don't be so hard on yourself. Things always seem to slack now and again..peeks and valleys. Lace up your tennis shoes and go for a walk..it does a world of good especially if I try to do it on a regular basis. Hugs!!

Nina Patricia @ The Adventures of Nina Patricia said...

I can certainly relate. I've been working on a post in regards of not having anytime...for anything. Having a 1 year old, being sick for almost a month, working full time, I have no time to even read a book. AND this is why I am taking me time today and going to do a mani/pedi with my Sis.
Take deep breaths. Prioritize. Take goals for each day, i.e: Today my bedroom will be clean, and do just that. Then on to the next. A warm hug!

Amber said...

I just found your blog from Isabella and Max Rooms. Boy, I can totally relate to this! Especially now! It's so hard to find a balance. I am battling working full time, two kids, husband working afternoons, blogging, etc, and presently my best friend's baby is battling for his life. I am a people pleaser too....I've neglected my little blog for two weeks and even lost a follower (I'm assuming due to lack of posts). It bugs me that I've lost a follower because I want people to like me, ya know?? I love when people are real and revealing on their blogs. It makes me feel normal!

Dayka (Life +Style) said...

i think your home says a lot about a person, but i think it only says something about that moment in time, not about the totality of who you are as a person. take the time you need, because your blog is about your voice, and only you know what that really means.

Averill said...

Goodness...I know how you feel.

And yes, blogging can definitely be very consuming. When I'm busy with work it can be very, very taxing to keep up with everything.

Emily A. Clark said...

Yes, I can totally relate! It's also a hard balance as a mom between taking care of your kids/home/etc. and still finding time to do something you love.

As for the picture of your house, mine looks the same--if not worse--most days. Not sure I can completely blame it on blogging, though. It looked that way before I started :)

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