I just finished reading Emily’s post over at Jones Design Company and I felt compelled to write my own. I figure if I got out my own thoughts outs, maybe just maybe I would feel a little better.
As you know, I’m a mother of three boys. I know that for some of you, just hearing that is a lot to imagine. My boys are 7, 5, and 3 (another large pill to swallow). This past weekend was probably the hardest weekend for me. On Saturday morning while play wrestling, my 5 year old decided to head butt my oldest in the mouth. It was terrible. He had to get a few stitches. Can you imagine your 7 year old running upstairs with a mouth full of blood only to then realize that his lip is split open? The first thing I did was panic because I could already hear my husband asking me where I was once I called him at work to tell him that I was going to have to take my son to the emergency room. And by the way, I was upstairs paying a few bills online and reading blogs.
I think its safe to say that I have a hard job being a stay at home mom raising three boys. I know that a lot of people think that it’s nothing compared to working a full time job and then coming home to take care of your kids, but I think both are tough. Sure I can go to the mall any time I want, but I have a three year old who I constantly have to chase behind, tell to stop, or no don’t touch that, or come back over her. I hope that I ‘m not coming across as complaining in this post. I just need to share with you how HARD my life with my boys can be sometimes. As a mom, you get so much advice on what you should be doing to your child, but no one really knows what would work for you and your child. They only know what works for them.
I haven’t done much around my house lately as you can tell on the blog. Why? Because my boys destroy EVERYTHING. I can’t tell you how many holes I’ve patched, how many of my things are broken. Even their bedrooms are a mess (SERIOUSLY). After I’ve worked so hard on a project, they totally destroy it. Not on purpose, but it is destroyed nevertheless… So I’m discouraged to continue with anything.
The reason why I decided to write this post is because I can feel myself slipping back into my depression. I’m a bit overwhelmed with life. I love my boys dearly, but sometimes I feel like I can’t keep up with everything. I’ve been crying a lot lately. My oldest son needs extra help in school. He is not retaining things that he is being taught and I have considered homeschooling, but I think I would make things worse for him. I feel like they aren’t getting as much attention as they need and have considered ending my blog and all of my other social media participation.
I wish that I had people in my life that I could really share my feelings with, but I don’t. I either have family members that give either the worst advice possible because that have never experienced raising multiple children of this age at the same time, or others who only did the best they knew how which is no where near the best these days.
I don’t beat my children. I barely spank them. I don’t feel like you have to do that to teach children the right thing to do. I do raise my voice a lot. And I have a short temper these days which results in me hurting their feelings and then hurting mine for hurting theirs.
While I was reading Emily’s post, I cried. I cried because I totally understand where she is coming from. Women don’t help each other these days. Do you know how many times I get awkward looks from people when I’m out with all my boys? I get the same thing from FAMILY. Instead of reaching out to help, they judge. It’s A LOT to take on. I always say that my boys are good kids no matter what they’ve done and no matter how they act sometimes because they really are good kids. I think we tend to forget that they are just children… How much are they expected to know after only being here on this earth a few years? There are adults that act worse than children do.
Anyway, I said all of this to say that I’m having a hard time right now. Sometimes I feel like I should be use to having three kids by now, but in reality, you never are. They do different things at different ages. Right now I’m experiencing the rough playing and a 3 year old that gets into everything. He also thinks its pretty funny to test me as much as he possibly can (sometimes I think its his life calling).
So here is my advice for women you may know with multiple children:
If you don’t have any or less that she does, ask if its ok for you to come over and lend a hand.
Do more play dates with her (if you have children too)
Don’t be so judgmental. If you’ve never experienced what she is experiencing, don’t automatically assume that she is a bad mother.
If you’re running to the store, check to see if she needs something back. Or better yet, offer to go to the store with her to help out with the kids.
There are so many things you can do to help. If you can’t do anything physically, encourage her with words. Sometimes all a girl need is encouragement.
I’m glad I’m able to share a little bit of what I’m feeling right now with you. 5 years ago I didn’t have an outlet…
Thanks for listening.