GETS ME EVERYTIME

I could not believe the responses I received from my post the other day. You guys really know how to make a girl feel good about herself! I wanted to share something real quick that would answer some personal emails that I received about the post.

Yesterday, I was overwhelmed (as usual). The boys didn't take a nap. I was tired due to the fact that the boys didn't have a nap. I had planned on getting some painting done, but didn't have a chance. I over cooked my my main course for dinner. Tony had to work from 5am-4pm. After work, he had to make a few stops (Lowes, auto parts store, etc). And then when he finally made it home (5:30), he was ready to eat and rest for a minute. My youngest son, Bren, decided that he wanted to open the back door and run out while I was cooking dinner. Tony came down stairs and asked where he was and my response was "oh, he ran outside and slammed the door behind him".

The main questions that I received from my readers (who I didn't know I had!!!) were: "How do you stay and not leave?", Before the books, what motivated you?, And my favorite, Do you ever backslide (with the depression)?






These pictures sums it all up for me. When I told Tony that Brendan ran out of the house, he did not yell at me or get upset. He told TJ and Nick to find some shoes and lets go outside to water the grass so mommy can finish cooking dinner.

That is how he is. Patient, calm, and cool. Although he never really understood my frustration after we had our kids, he would always try to make things better for me. Sometimes I would get upset because he was too cool while it seemed like my world was spinning out of control. But, when I look or think back to times like this, I realize that "THIS" is why I'm able to do it all again the next day.

**The only problem I had was that the boys grabbed my shoes to go outside and play!**

READING is FUNDAMENTAL

I've been looking for ways to add more 'depth' to my blog. My day to day life is chalked full of things that I would love to share and get other parents point of views of. What I would like mostly to talk about is being a stay at home parent. I say parent and not mom because there are stay at home dads out there that I'm pretty sure experience some of the same things.

Before I go any further, allow me to share some background facts about my voyage to becoming a stay at home mom.

2004
Found out I was pregnant.
Not sure what that meant as far as becoming a mom.
I knew I wasn't ready.
Never planned on having kids (especially at 21).
gave birth to my son in November.
Became overwhelmed quickly.
felt as if I had to protect him
Neglected myself
Neglected my husband
Friends neglected me

2005
started to get the hang of things
went back to school
went back to work
decided i couldn't leave my son 5 days a week at his young age
became a stay at home mom when he was 7 months
found out I was pregnant.... AGAIN
Depression knocked at the door
I opened the door
Depression made itself at home
started to hate my life
resented my husband
and my kids
but, mostly myself for allowing this to happen
wanted to give up
felt alone
know one took me serious (about being depressed)
Started to doubt myself (about being depressed)
Stopped talking about being depressed (didn't want people to think I was crazy)
Became more depressed

2006
Son was born
LOVED my son
HATED my life
still resented my husband and the fact that he still had his sanity and job
started taking online classes
that didn't work for long
resented my husband more for that


2007
things were going well (thanks to a new found Friend)
planned a vow renewal with husband (yes the one I resented!)
had a REALLY nice vow renewal in July
Found out I was pregnant is August
By this time, I was already sure that my life was over anyway so whatever


2008
purchased our home
use the house to clear my mind
painted kitchen red
painted cabinets white
painted powder room green
painted bedroom a creamy white
changed mind on bedroom color then went beige
gave birth to my third son (yes, after I painted those rooms)
planned a house warming party
Did I mention that I had 3 c-sections? oh, and gained a bunch of weight?
Anyway, had to prepare for house warming
painted some more


2009
Things were going okay
became overwhelmed again
this time with taking care of a home, kids, and husband
started my blog
school was a no go


2010
things are better!


If you are still reading this, I'm getting to the point now! I want to add little snippets of my life and my adventures of being a stay at home mom. I want to ask for advice from you guys from time to time. I started this blog as an outlet for me to possibly connect with other "ADULTS". the other day a friend asked me how I do it being a stay at home mom for almost 6 years to 3 children and still have my sanity. I honestly don't know how I've made it this far, but what I do now is I read a lot and it helps. For instance, right now I'm reading this book

I swear, I can relate to everything in this book. Really! It helps me to look at life and parenting differently. I realized that there are other moms that have gone or go through the SAME. EXACT. THINGS!

Now, about my husband, I'm reading this book


This book helped me to look at myself and by doing that I was able to see Tony differently. Our relationship has been so much better (and I'm the only one reading the book). Actually, this book has helped me with relationships in general.

Basically what I'm getting at here is do you mind if I squeeze in a few of my "life moments" on this here blog? I promise I will not talk about religion or politics. Just my crazy life of being a homebody!




***SIDE NOTE***

I was not asked to give my opinions of these books. I am not being paid to do this AT ALL! I just wanted to share what has helped me.