This is a hard post for me to write. Today is probably one of the roughest days I’ve had in a while. It all started with a trip to the dentist and ended with a late check in at school.
I took the boys to the dentist today (they did great). After a few x-rays it was shown that both of them have cavities… When i heard that I automatically felt like the worst mother in the world. We brush our teeth twice a day everyday in our home. As a matter of fact, I started brushing my boys teeth at about 6-7 months old because I wanted them to be use to doing it when they were older. So to hear that they have cavities, it was like being told “YOU ARE THE WORST MOTHER EVER”. My oldest has one and Nick has two. The doctor said that its probably because they don’t floss regularly. In which they don’t. I mean seriously, flossing their teeth is like pulling teeth the with the way they act sometimes. But instead of enforcing flossing I say “okay guys, next time we are flossing”, but because I’d rather not go through the hassle I usually just skip it all together. So now they have cavities and its my fault…
Then after leaving the dentist, the boys insisted on going to school (at 11am). After dropping Nicholas off to his class, I went to do the same with TJ. Before leaving out of the class, TJ’s teacher wanted to have a few words with me. She asked if I work with him at home with letter recognition and writing. Again, I swear I do. But, I must confess, Nicholas catches on to things a lot faster than TJ. He is more of my hands on guy. His memory is excellent and his interest in learning is greater than TJ.
TJ’s teacher asked me if he had been in any type of schooling prior to starting Kindergarten. She said most of the other students had been and they are already writing their names and TJ isn’t. Okay so no, he hasn’t been to daycare or Pre-K or anything. That’s what I was for. And I see now that I failed. I failed him. But how can I fail one and the other child does great when it comes to the same matter at hand?
I’m starting to rethink my entire decision for staying home. Maybe me staying home wasn’t what was best for my boys. Maybe I should have put them in daycare. I’m sure someone else would have done a better job than me. All I know is that at this very moment, I feel like I have failed my baby….